Update on Dad

I just got home from the nursing home after being there almost 12 hours! I'm SO tired! I came home to shower, change and rest a bit, but I need to get back there. They called me this morning and said that my Dad wouldn't make it through the day. He's an amazing man and he has been fighting it all day. He is resting as comfortably as can be expected, but it's so hard to see him laying there so helpless. We've read almost all of the Psalms to him and he has been listening to nice quiet hymns all day long. I know he hears us as I see his face almost light up when he hears verses and music that are his favorites! God is good and I know He is holding Dad every step of the way!!!!

Please continue to pray. Pray that Lionel and I will feel rested. He has been with me most of the day. He wants to be there with me the whole time, so neither of us will be getting much rest tonight - if any. Pray that the Lord will keep Dad alive until we get back there to be with him...we hated to leave, but the nurses said that we had time to go home for a while. Yeah...I got home and came online...but I wanted to update family and friends. We needed this 'reality' break.

Thank you all so much for your prayers and thoughtfulness...thank you to those of you who sent emails and posted comments here...they have been great and I appreciate them!!!

Blessings,

Photo Hunt #129 - View

These different 'views' are much nicer when put together with scripture...

Next time you see a sunset..."Draw near to God and He will draw near to you." James 4:8



"How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of those who bring good news, who proclaim peace, who bring good tidings, who proclaim salvation, who say to Zion, 'Your God reigns!'" Isaiah 52:7


"You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands." Isaiah 55:12


Ever walk down a path and feel all alone? "Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you." Hebrews 13:5


"You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance." Psalm 32:7

"The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing." Zephaniah 3:17

God is our strength!

It's hard to believe, but 7 years ago today, my Mom died. She lived with cancer for 7 years before passing away!! As we sit and wait for the Lord to call my Dad home, the memories of Mom come flooding back. I miss her so much, and even though we talk about her often, I sometimes feel some of my memories of her slipping away. Photos and videos help, but sometimes I try to remember things we didn't 'capture' on film, but it's hard. With Dad, I have taken a gazillion photos, even now we pose with him in his last days. Most of them are very personal and I wouldn't post them here, but I love this one of Dad and I...



We didn't think Dad would even make it to today, but he has and it seems as if it could be a few more days before he passes away...only God knows the exact time though. I know he's ready. We've all said our good-byes to him, and every time we see him we tell him we love him. We know he hears us and we feel at peace about that.

Psalm 73:23-26 "Yet I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will take me into glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." ~Amen!

My heart aches

Dad is not doing well at all, in fact, he most likely won't live more than a day or two. My heart is breaking. We spent time by his bedside today, and seeing him suffering in pain (even with morphine) is just something I'd rather not deal with. I want to be with him through this 'valley of the shadow of death' though...I want to hold his hand, tell him it's OK to let go and enter into the presence of the Lord. We know where he will spend eternity, but it's still hard to watch him die.

I have been battling the tears all evening, thinking of him laying there in that bed moaning and suffering. I am constantly asking God to take him and relieve his pain. As much as we don't want to lose him, we also don't want to be selfish and ask for him to linger. He has lived a good life. He is ready to meet his Maker!

Today while we were standing beside him, Sweet-Pea (who hasn't cried yet) burst into tears and asked PaPa if he would say 'hi' to Gramma for her and give her a hug when he dies and goes to heaven. You have NO IDEA how much my heart ached when I heard those words. She is a 7 year old who has experienced things well beyond her years because of my Dad's illness. My mom passed away 7 years ago, only 2 months after Sweet-Pea was born. My Mom held her in her arms and told her she'd see her again one day in heaven. To hear Sweet-Pea ask PaPa to give her a hug and say 'hi' was something I'll never forget!!!

Lionel is dealing with it in his own way. He's sad and he's angry. He remembers watching Gramma die when he was just 6 years old. He was close to her and now he's very close to my Dad. It really stinks that my children won't have their grandparents around to love them, hug them and play with them any longer. I didn't lose my grandparents until I was in my 20's! I cherish the years I had with them and I'm sad my children will be missing out. Fortunately my parents are leaving behind a wonderful legacy which will be passed on for generations to come!!! They both loved the Lord and weren't afraid to show it. My children have spent quality time with them, have learned from them and will one day tell their own children all about their amazing Godly grandparents!

Here we are with my Dad just over 1 year ago...amazing.


The song sung by Steve Green says it all....

FIND US FAITHFUL
Words and Music by Jon Mohr

We're pilgrims on the journey of the narrow road
And those who've gone before us line the way
Cheering on the faithful, encouraging the weary
Their lives a stirring testament to God's sustaining grace

Surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses
Let us run the race not only for the prize
But as those who've gone before us
Let us leave to those behind us
The heritage of faithfulness
Passed on through godly lives

Oh may all who come behind us find us faithful
May the fire of our devotion light their way
May the footprints that we leave
Lead them to believe
And the lives we live inspire them to obey
Oh may all who come behind us find us faithful

After all our hopes and dreams have come and gone
And our children sift through all we've left behind
May the clues that they discover
And the memories they uncover
Become the light that leads them
To the road we each must find

Oh may all who come behind us find us faithful

Photo Hunt #128 - Road

This was an easy Photo Hunt...there are so many different 'roads'.

The road at Santa's Village on the antique car ride...


The NASCAR road (a.k.a. track) at the Pocono International Speedway...


The railroad of the North Conway Scenic Railway...


Close-up of the Conway railroad...


A windy road in the beautiful mountains of Franconia Notch NH...

My library

I've posted about bookshelves and showed a few creative ways to store books, but what sort of books do I enjoy? All sorts...my favorite types include Christian fiction, Christian non-fiction, classics, anything about homeschooling and kids books...yes, I enjoy kids books. How can you be a homeschooling mom and not like kids books?!? I certainly can't name all the books in my library, but I will share some of them with you.

The best places to find books are:
Christian Book Distributors - Awesome Christian Bookstore
Beautiful Feet - Great for homeschool literature
Powell's Books - Used, outdated and hard to find books
Book Swap - Used textbooks
Paperback Swap - Great place to trade books with others
Library and Education Services - Homeschool wholesalers!
Amazon
Barnes & Noble
Borders Bookstore

Keep track of your books with:
Library Thing
Shelfari - which can be added to your blog
Flic Scanner - I own this, it's great for organizing books/movies/cds!


Here are a 'few' of my favorites...

Kids books:
Concord Cunningham - Matthew Halverson
Mandie Series - Lois Gladys Leppard
Detective Zack: Secret of Noah's Flood - Jerry Thomas
The Sugar Creek Gang Series - Paul Hutchens
Cul-de-sac Kids - Beverly Lewis
Three Cousins Detective Club - Elspeth Campbell Murphy
Elsie Dinsmore - Martha Finley
Little House on the Prairie - Laura Ingalls Wilder
Trailblazer Books - Dave & Neta Jackson
Hannah's Island Series - Eric Wiggin
Adventures in Odyssey - Paul McCusker
Animal Friends Series - Janette Oke
Jaffray Missionary Portraits Series
Boxcar Children (only those by original author) - Gertrude C. Warner
Anne of Green Gables - L.M. Montgomery
Great Illustrated Classics
Little Women/Little Men/Jo's Boys - Louisa May Alcott
10 Boys who Changed the World - Irene Howat
10 Girls who Changed the World - Irene Howat
A Life of Faith Series
Chronicles of Narnia -C.S. Lewis
Girls Only! Series - Beverly Lewis
Christy Miller Series - Robin Jones Gunn
Sisters in Time Series
Heroes of Faith Series
Hymns for a Kids Heart - Joni E. Tada
James Herriot Series

Adult fiction books:
Canadian West Series - Janette Oke
Love Comes Softly Series - Janette Oke
Annie's People Series - Beverly Lewis
Lowlands of Scotland Series - Liz Curtis Higgs
Sense & Sensibility - Jane Austen
Pride & Prejudice - Jane Austen
Big Sky Dreams - Lori Wick
Finders Keepers/Hide & Seek - Catherine Palmer
Courtship of Nellie Fisher Series - Beverly Lewis
The Sunroom - Beverly Lewis
Abrams Daughter Series - Beverly Lewis
Left Behind Series - Jenkins & LaHaye
Postcards from the Pullman Series - Judith Miller
Daughters of Blessing Series - Lauraine Snelling
Brides of Lancaster Country - Wanda Brunstetter
Firstborn Series - Karen Kingsbury
Tucker Mills Trilogy - Lori Wick
Lady of Milkweed Manor - Julie Klassen
The Princess - Lori Wick
Rocky Mountain Memories Series - Lori Wick

Adult non-fiction books:
My Heart's in the Lowlands - Liz Curtis Higgs
In Her Steps - Denise Marie Siino
Humor for the Holidays - Sheri MacDonald
Grown Up Girlfriends - Erin Smalley & Carrie Oliver
One Minute After you Die - Erwin Lutzer
Facing Your Giants - Max Lucado
Traveling Light - Max Lucado
Out of Control - Mark Lowry
The Purse Driven Life - Anita Renfroe
Live Long & Die Laughing - Mark Lowry
Bringing Up Boys- James Dobson
Just Like Jesus - Max Lucado
The Excellent Wife - Martha Peace
Spiritual Lives of Great Composers - Patrick Kavanaugh
The Power of a Praying Parent - Stormie Omartian
Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World - Joanna Weaver
Heart Like His - Beth Moore
Stepping Heavenward - Elizabeth Prentiss
Captivating - John & Stasi Eldredge
Extraordinary Faith - Sheila Walsh

Homeschool books:
The Hands-On Dad - Rick Boyer
A Biblical Home Education - Ruth Beechick
The Homeschooling Father - Michael Farris
The Everything Homeschooling Book
The Organized Homeschooler - Vicki Caruana
The Heart of Homeschooling - E. Elliot & C. Klicka
The Homeschoolers Book of Lists - Sonya Haskins
The Way They Learn - Cynthia Ulrich Tobias
Lies Homeschooling Moms Believe - Todd Wilson
Preparing Your Son for Every Mans Battle - Arterburn/Stoeker
Raising Children to Love God - Andrew Murray
101 Devotions for Homeschool Moms - Jackie Wellwood
Beautiful Girlhood - Karen Andreola
Boyhood and Beyond - Bob Schultz
100 Top Picks for Homeschool Curriculum - Cathy Duffy

I could go on...and on...and on...you get the picture! I didn't even hit the tip of the iceberg! I am trying to instill a love of reading in my kids. The key is to find books that will captivate them and peak their interests! Goodness knows I must have SOMETHING they enjoy reading in this house full of books! Also, find a well lit, yet cozy place to sit. Have a cup of coffee, glass of iced tea beside you as well. The best time to read is on a cool rainy autumn day - ahh, I can't wait!!!

It's been hard to smile on the inside!

Have you ever walked around with a smile on your face but deep down you were feeling extremely sad and depressed? That has been me the past several days. I buried my grandmother 2 weeks ago, and soon I will have to go through it all again with my Dad. I'm tired of trying to feel happy around everyone when I'm not! I want to cry, I want to grieve but frankly I don't have time to!!!

We had a homeschool meeting the other evening and as I am the president of the group, I was there with a smile on my face greeting everyone and leading the meeting. I was genuinely glad to welcome them back and start this new school year again with them, but deep down I was crying and wishing I were home sulking in the quietness of my living room. Most of the moms in the group don't know what I'm going through. They have no idea the inner pain I have day in and day out because of the stresses of caring for my Dad. I'd do it all over again if I had to...but it hasn't been easy.

Through it all, I'm trying...I'm trying to rely on the Lord to carry me through these rough days. All the meetings with doctors, nurses, hospice workers, attorneys, medicare, etc. It's so exhausting. Sweet-Pea was supposed to do a science experiment yesterday in school, but I put it off promising her we'd do it today. Well, today came and went and I let her down. I am so mad that they too have to suffer from all that's going on. I told her that tomorrow morning we would do the experiment...but I was sure to tell her that it was not a promise in case anything comes up! Lord willing, we will get it done and it will have been worth the wait! (We're going to be making craters with rocks and flour to resemble those found on Mercury and the Moon).

Anyhow...if you've never heard of it, Streams in the Desert is a wonderful devotional book...I have several volumes. I used to read them over and over when in college. One of the devotionals always spoke volumes to me and I want to share it with you...plus I could use a little pick-me-up myself!!

"This Thing is from Me"
by Laura A. Barter Snow

"This thing is from me." I Kings 12:24

"My child, I have a message for you today; let me whisper it in your ear, that it may gild with glory any storm clouds which may arise, and smooth the rough places upon which may have to tread. It is short, only five words, but let them sink into your inmost soul; use them as a pillow upon which to rest your weary head. This thing is from me.

Have you ever thought of it, that all that concerns you concerns Me too? For, “he that toucheth you, toucheth the apple of mine eye” (Zech. 2:8). You are very precious in My sight. (Isa. 43:4) Therefore, it is My special delight to educate you. I would have you learn that when temptations assail you, and the “enemy cometh in like a flood,” that this thing is from me, that you weakness needs My might, and your safety lies in letting Me fight for you.

Are you in difficult circumstances, surrounded by people who do not understand you, who never consult your taste, who put you in the background? This thing is from Me. I am the God of circumstances. Thou camest not to thy place by accident, it is the very place God meant for thee.
Have you not asked to be made humble? See then, I have placed you in the very school where this lesson is taught; your surroundings and companions are only working out My will.

Are you in money difficulties? Is it hard for you to make both ends meet? This thing is from Me, for I am your purse-bearer and would have you draw from and depend upon Me. My supplies are limitless (Phil. 4:19). I would have you prove my promises. Let it not be said of you, “In this thing ye did not believe the Lord your God” (Duet. 1:32).

Are you passing through a night of sorrow? This thing is from Me. I am the man of Sorrows and acquainted with grief. I have let earthly comforters fail you, that by turning to Me you may find everlasting consolation (2 Thess. 2:16,17). Have you longed to do some great work for Me and instead you have been laid aside on a bed of pain and weakness? This thing is from Me. I could not get your attention in your busy days and I want to teach you some of my deepest lessons. “They also serve who only stand and wait.” Some of My greatest workers are those shut out from active service, that they may learn to wield the weapon of all- Prayer.

This day I place in your hand this pot of holy oil. Make use of it free, my child. Let every circumstance that arises, every word that pains you, every interruption that would make you impatient, every revelation of your weakness be anointed with it. The sting will go as you learn to see Me in all things.

"This is from Me," the Savior said,
As bending low He kissed my brow,
"For One who loves you thus has led,
just rest in Me, be patient now,.

Your Father knows you have need of this,
Tho, why perchance you cannot see --
Grieve not for things you've seemed to miss
The thing I send is best for thee."

Then looking through my tears I plead,
"Dear Lord, forgive, I did not know,
Twill not be hard since Thou dost tread,
Each path before me here below."

And for my good this thing must be,
His grace sufficient for each test.
So still I'll sing 'Whatever be,
Gods way for me is always best."

That's right...Gods way for me IS best! I just need to keep on smiling - not only on the outside, but on the inside as well. I need to remember that nothing happens that God does not allow! One day soon my Dad will be in glory. He will be walking with the Lord. That's something to celebrate, not mourn! My prayer for Dad never changes...that God will give him peace and comfort until the day He calls Dad home! For myself? I just pray that God will hold me tight during these really tough times...just like He always does!!

Barton Cottage Award #2

This week's "Beautiful Heart, Beautiful Blog Award" goes to...

(insert drum roll here)

FiFi, over at There's more to this life

I have been reading Fee's blog for a while now and I not only love her sense of humor, but the way she talks so lovingly about her family. You know that she has a huge heart for her family, friends, her country and most importantly, the Lord. Congratulations Fee, you've earned it!!!

Have a blessed day!

Reading...it does a body brain good!

In case you haven't noticed yet, I love books! I not only love reading books for myself, I also love reading books with my kids! The dilemma in our home is where to put all those books!! I have bookshelves in almost every room of the house. Some day I dream of having a library in our home...a room specifically set up for storing books with a couple over stuffed chairs to snuggle up in for reading....complete with a fire place of course. Yeah, I know...dream on!

Some people have come up with creative ways of storing their books. I'm not too sure I'd use any of them, but they are quite creative. Have a look....

Here's a chair and ottoman which looks like it holds a lot of books, but it doesn't look all that comfy!


They also have it in orange if you prefer. Yuk!


This chair would cause my sciatica to act up I'm sure! It looks painful!


If you're flexible, perhaps this little number would work. NOT!

This chair has it all...storage, a built in light and...a wheel?!?


I'm not sure if they were going for a cottage look or a tree, but either way it's pretty ugly! They've also wasted so much precious book space with that roof!


Now this book case is cool, but I don't know if I'd like to have to look for a book this way...then that way...oh wait...then this way...then that way etc. I'd get dizzy, plus I don't like when books are stacked on top of each other like that.


What an ingenious way to store books...on, in and under your staircase! In case you can't quite figure out the angle of this photo...those are steps (very steep looking steps) headed down towards a doorway. It's a good use of a small space, but strange at the same time.


I suppose for now I'll just keep adding bookshelf after bookshelf in my home. I just can't seem to get rid of books because I do enjoy reading them over and over. I only wish I had more time to read...I don't get enough 'bathroom time' to get all my reading in!! '''wink'''

My dream...

Wordly Wise 9 list - lesson 3

allude: to refer to in an indirect way

consecrate: to set apart as holy; to dedicate to a cause; to devote

disseminate: to scatter or spread widely

dote: to show excessive fondness for

exhort: to urge strongly; to warn or appeal

feckless: careless or irresponsible

implicate: to show to be involved with something, especially something dishonest or illegal

lament: to feel or express grief

monetary: of relating to money or currency

pensive: deep in thought; dreamily thoughtful

pomp: a showy or dignified display

stilted: artificially stiff or formal in manner

subjugate: to bring under control; to conquer

trauma: a severe bodily injury; emotional shock

wanton: ignoring what is right; excessive or unrestrained; playful or frolicsome

Photo Hunt #127 - Wild

Both our kids enjoy 'wild' and unique cakes for their birthdays. Here are just a few of the 'wild' cakes we've made for them:

Sweet-Pea's cakes...we went wild with princesses!




Lionel's layer cake...with wild frosting!

Sweet-Pea on Ice

Today was Sweet-Pea's 3rd skating lesson. She is just a beginner, but her coach says that she is learning quickly! Before we know it, she'll be out there on her own. That's quite an improvement from the little girl that was in tears from fear two weeks ago! I'm so proud of her for sticking it out. Now she says that it's her favorite thing to do and she can't wait each week until she gets to go to her lesson!

Today was an exciting day - she was able to actually venture out into the middle of the rink. There was no one else there today, so the rink was hers, and hers alone! How awesome was that!?! She went 3/4 of the way around the edge of the rink (holding on) at first, but then her coach encouraged her to go across the ice. It opened up a whole new experience for Sweet-Pea and instantly her passion was ignited! I could totally see it in her eyes!!!

Here are a few photos and a video clip I took of her. It's not the best, but you'll get the idea...







This video shows Sweet-Pea learning what it feels like to spin around while keeping her balance. This was her favorite part of today's lesson! (Gotta love the song too...perfect timing with the video camera, don't 'cha think?!? It's called "In My Daughter's Eyes")


In this video, she is learning how to balance herself by using techniques in the US Figure Skating manual. Her coach is very patient with her which is why she was able to overcome her fear so quickly.


Lionel always comes with us to the rink, and today he was so bummed he didn't bring his own skates since no one else was around. Maybe next week. He is anxious to learn how to skate too but just for his own enjoyment, not professionally like Sweet-Pea.

Ignorance is dangerous!

You know how the old saying goes..."Ignorance is bliss"...well I tend to disagree when it comes to things like this article I found online this morning:

"Largest Particle Collider Conducts Successful Tests."

Yeah, I know what you're thinking..."What in the world does that mean?"

Well, apparently scientists are spending billions of dollars on a machine that they claim can show how the universe was created. In a news video clip, the reporter says "...and in the collisions, to recreate conditions just after the Big Bang to learn how everything got started." Got started?!?!? How absurd, how ignorant and frankly, how stupid! They assume everyone believes that the earth just happened because of a Big Bang Theory. Well not me!!!

First of all, to spend billions of dollars ($3.8 billion to be exact) on some man made machine is a waste of money. Do they not know people all over the world could benefit from some of that money? Food, clothing, shelter? All that aside, what really are they trying to prove?? Here are a couple quotes from the article found here. (Where the video clips are also located.)

"The world's largest particle collider passed its first major test by firing a beam of protons around a 17-mile (27-kilometer) underground ring Wednesday in what scientists hope is the next great step to understanding the makeup of the universe."

"Now that the beam has been successfully tested in a clockwise direction, CERN plans to send it counterclockwise. Eventually two beams will be fired in opposite directions with the aim of recreating conditions a split second after the big bang, which scientists theorize was the massive explosion that created the universe."

Hello people!?! Where do you think the protons came from?!? You can't create something from nothing, only God can do that! The earth did not just create itself from a big bang! I know I've blogged about this in the past, but when I saw the news article jump out at me on the opening page of the internet, I just had to comment.

What's sad about it, is "The project organized by the 20 European member nations of CERN has attracted researchers from 80 nations. Some 1,200 are from the United States, an observer country that contributed US$531 million." So many people so ignorant about how our universe was truly created...and those are just and handful of scientists! In public schools all over the world, children are being taught to believe in the Big Bang Theory. Even in our Sunday School this past weekend, we discussed Creationism, and one Mom asked a question pertaining to the topic. The question itself isn't relevant here, but it was really something she, as a believer, should have known the correct answer to. When I asked her where she got her information from, she said "Well that's what the public schools say, and the museum in town also talks about it". This is the danger about not researching for yourself!! It is VITAL that you research things closely. The Bible clearly tells us to test everything. God wants us to look into things for ourselves. He doesn't want us to sit back and let others tell us what to believe in.

The absolute best resource out there is The Bible! Read it, study it, and learn from it so you can teach the truth to your children. Don't let them hear it or see it from those who are clueless and preach false teachings!!!

Another great resource is AIG...Answers in Genesis. Ken Hamm is a wonderful teacher and he uses none other than The Bible as his main resource! Check out their site for lots of great information on how this universe was created!

OK, I'm stepping down off my soapbox now. Back to our regularly scheduled program....