More Than You Think I Am

I've been doing a lot of thinking these days.  I don't know if it's because I turned 50 a few months back, and I'm getting older, or if it's just because of all the nonsense that's going on in the world these days.  Either way, I've been thinking.  Yeah, shocker!!

I think that's also what causes me to avoid my blog these days.  Something my Mom once told me..."If you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all."  I could write all day about people and things that tick me off.  Things that annoy me, and things that make me sad.  People are rushing around always in a hurry to do who-knows-what, and go who-knows-where.  The sense of entitlement is unbelievable these days, and it all just drives me crazy.  I don't want my blog to be filled with negativity though.  I want it to be pleasing to the Lord, and an encouragement to those who read it.

Right now I've got my music playing, headphones on and am feeling encouraged by the words I'm listening to.  Music is so soothing to the soul, isn't it?  When I need to 'get away' from it all, I crank up the music and let the words speak to me. ♪♫

The song "More Than You Think I Am" by Danny Gokey is one of my new favorite songs.  The lyrics are beautiful when you know it's Jesus speaking the words...(with my input in italics after)

You always think I'm somewhere on a mountain top
But never think behind bars
You'd be amazed the places that I'd go to be with you
Where you are
(Sometimes I wish I felt Jesus more than I do.  I know He is with me everywhere, but often my sinful nature ignores Him, and it makes me sad.  He is there waiting for me...ALL the time!)

So forget what you've heard
What you think that you know
There's a lot about me
That's never been told
(I need to spend a LOT more time in The Word.  I need to just be still and listen to Him more.  Pray more, and reflect on who He is!)

Rumor has it there's a gavel in my hand
I'm only here to condemn
But let me tell you secrets you would've never known
I think of you as my best friend
(This verse makes me sad.  I love that it says Jesus is NOT just here to condemn.  They're right. People think all He does is judge us and punish us, yet we make choices and ALL choices have consequences, whether good or bad.  He wants us to do what's right, yet despite our sins, He longs to be our friend!!) 

So much has been said
Even done in my name
But I'm showing you now
Who I really am
(Amen!)

Let me open your eyes to see the heart of me, differently
Come closer than you've ever been
Let me in like never before
Bring me every broken part
The wounds and scars of who you are
And hide in me and you will see
(I long to be close, and I pray that He will continue to reveal Himself in my life daily.  I need to go to Him when I'm broken and when I feel whole.  He is the ONLY one who can fill what is empty in my life.)

I'm more than you dreamed
More than you understand
Your days and your times
Were destined for our dance
I catch all your tears
Burn your name on my heart
Be still and trust my plan
I'm more than you think I am
(My name is burned on His heart....He loves me!  He desires to be my friend!  He adopted me into His family!  I don't deserve Him, but nonetheless, I am His and He is mine! Amen!!) 

Such a beautiful song!!  Have a listen...then take some time reflecting on the words.  Remember, He loves YOU...don't you ever forget that!!! =)

New Year...New Me!

Happy New Year!! 

It's 2016, so hard to believe that 2015 is over.  It was a hard year for our family for many reasons, but it was also a great year. 

What made it so difficult?

•   Rob's job situation
•   Having no family nearby
•   Missing our son who is away at college
•   Having a hard time making 'real' friends
•   Losing our sweet dog, Cody
•   Missing the colder New England weather
•   Not feeling like our house is our home yet
•   Being sick for most of the summer
•   The heat...oh the awful humid heat!
•   Financial difficulties

What made it a great year?

•   Having my sister and her family visit us
•   Being part of an amazing church family
•   Making new friends 
•   Being a part of the women's Bible study at church
•   Getting some great photography jobs
•   Having our son home for the summer & breaks
•   Enjoying girl time with my daughter
•   Skype & Facetime calls with faraway family/friends
•   Feeling closer to God than ever before
•   Our family vacation to Colorado
•   and lots more moments throughout the year!

I truly have so much to be thankful for, and I need to count my blessings! 
These two are what I'm most proud of...






I know that God has blessed my life with an amazing husband who loves me (and to this day I have NO clue why!), and two kids who continue to amaze me on a daily basis.  I am so in love with my family, and I couldn't ask for more than that. 

So, why a new me?  I want to be different...better than ever!

I want to....

• Grow in my walk with the Lord
• Pray more for my husband & kids
• Be the best mom I can possibly be
• Work on the outward me...lose weight, feel good etc.
• Show kindness and reach out more to others
• Keep up with this blog and write from my heart
• Live my life for the Lord & be completely transparent
• Care about what matters most, not what doesn't
• Not worry about what others think of me as much as I do
• Improve on my photography skills
• Get out of debt!
• Communicate better with others & not be so introverted

This is going to take some time!!  It won't happen overnight, and it may not even happen this year, but it sure is something to work towards.  This is NOT any sort of New Year's resolution!  It's just a list of things I'd like to work on without pressure of time, or putting any sort of label on it. 

So if you think of it, pray for me. I'll be doing a lot of that myself!

God's Waiting Room

I don't know what it is lately, but I've just been feeling down.  I posted this picture today on Facebook with the words 

"I never used to be this way, but as I get older, it's more and more like who I've become. I'm missing my best friends...they accept me as I am and already know me well. Acquaintances get old really fast, and I've noticed that most people don't 'allow' new friends into their already established inner circle. Not something an introvert finds comforting." 

I tagged my 4 best friends, then watched as a few folks posted responses.  Most of them were very sweet, but there was one that made me both sad and happy.  She said  "What you said is me exactly.  I'm going through the same thing and we have been here over two years."

The reason it made me happy, was that I realized I'm not the only one who feels this way.  I'm not the only introvert who has been having a hard time finding friends who are true and genuine.  It also made me sad, because I totally know what she is going through.  It's been 1 1/2 years for me, and I don't foresee any changes in the near future.  I have tried so hard to get out of my comfort zone.  I've attended church, Small group (Sunday School), the orchestra, women's Bible study and more.  I've gone to all the women's functions with my small group, and I've met some amazing women...I even allowed myself to feel vulnerable by crying while praying with them, but I still have not felt that I clicked on a genuine and deep level with anyone. 

I sit here and think 'Is it me?'  'Is there something wrong with me?'  I've got 4 amazing friends who I've known for a long time, so it can't be that, or I probably wouldn't have any friends!  I did notice something...people these days don't like to let new people into their inner circle of friends.  I can understand that to a point, but if I saw someone new who needed a friend, I'd welcome her with open arms.  I've put myself out there.  I've done my part.

Sometimes the silence of my phone is deafening.  Sometimes a comment online would be welcomed.  I take time to pay attention to others, I just wish someone would pay attention to me.  I honestly don't understand why the Lord has me waiting, but that's what I'm doing.  I picture myself sitting on a semi-cushioned chair while hanging out in God's waiting room.  The walls are covered with paper that's peeling in the corner, one of the lights is flickering in the ceiling above me, and there's a fish tank in the corner to amuse those who don't like to wait.  There are magazines on the tables to peek anyone's interest, even one all about photography, but I don't pick it up because I keep watching the door to see if anyone is going to come in looking for me.  Pathetic, eh?  There's a reason I'm waiting, I'm sure of it.  There's a purpose to everything.  How do I know this?  It says so in the Bible. 

Ecclesiastes 3 says "To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven."

One day maybe I'll know why God had me waiting, and one day perhaps He will fulfill the desires of my heart.  In the mean time, I'll just sit back on the chair in His waiting room, and will continue to watch the door...always with a bit of hope in my heart. 

A 'HOT' Topic

I absolutely LOVE campfires!  I know it's got to be from all my years up at camp.  I went to girl's camp at Tapawingo, an island in the middle of Lake Pleasant...belonging to Camp-of-the-Woods, from when I was 7 years old, until I was 14.  We had campfires nearly every night there, and we would sing around them, cook over them, and just enjoy the warmth and cozy feeling that campfires bring.  I learned a lot about Jesus while sitting around those fires!

When I was older, I worked on the mainland at Camp-of-the-Woods from 1980-1989. We would have lots of campfires with the staff and with various guests I knew who were visiting.  Cooking s'mores was the best thing then, besides snuggling with whoever it was I was in love with 'dating' at the time.  Seriously though, the fires always brought that same feeling as they did at Tapawingo.  A warm, fuzzy closeness to those I was with, and to our heavenly Father.  We sang many beautiful songs around the fires, and to this day, I remember them well.

Tonight our family decided to have a campfire in the beautiful firepit Zachary built for us over the summer when he was home from college.  We cooked hot dogs on the grill, then when we finished, we sat around the fire and just enjoyed the peace and quiet around us.  Rob took the opportunity to burn a few items we had laying around that we wanted to get rid of, so it made for some pretty impressive flames, but it still was mysteriously peaceful and relaxing!

To me fire represents peace, comfort, warmth and it reminds me of songs sung about Jesus.  "Pass It On" was a big one!  It starts with 'It only takes a spark to get a fire going, but soon all those around will warm up to it's glowing.  That's how it is with God's love, once you've experienced it. You spread the love to everyone, you want to pass it on."  To others, fire may represent pain, heat, unforgiving flames, and evil.  Of course that's what life will be like for the unbeliever, but I don't have that fear.  I don't look at it with the same eyes as they do.  

Tonight as I got close to the fire to move the wood around, or to take some photos, it was hot.  It was so hot I couldn't stand close for very long.  I even couldn't tolerate the smoke if the wind happened to blow my way.  The good part about it...I don't have to fear living out eternity this way.  I get to live out

the rest of my life with Jesus Christ, in heaven.  Heaven is a beautiful place with no pain, no sorrow, and no sin.  It's the one place you want to be when you die!  Friend, don't let your ignorance, your sin, and your heart get so hardened that you turn your back on the free gift of eternal life.  Jesus died for you and for me.   Take that free gift and accept it.  Believe Jesus died for you, rose again and is one day coming to take us home again!

Finding My Way

So much has changed in our family over the past few years.  Zachary went off to college in 2013, we moved far from home in 2014, and my husband just recently got the job he was promised over 15 months ago when we moved here.  It was a long painful wait getting that full-time position, but God provided in His own time. 

Because of all these changes, I've had to practically start over from the life I once knew.  I no longer live near family, no longer live near my dearest friends, and I have had to adjust to living in 'the south' after being a Yankee for nearly 50 years of my life.  The sweet-tea has helped adjust more than you could ever know, though.  ha ha!

I think the hardest part for me has been the lack of a really good close friend nearby.  You know the kind I mean...the kind that 'gets you'.  The one who could pop in at any time and you wouldn't care if they saw your house clean or a mess.  I miss having someone to drop everything for and go out for coffee.  I miss having someone to commiserate with when I'm having a bad day, and I miss being able to pick up the phone knowing that they are just a stone's throw away.  Those kind of friends are the hardest to find.  Actually you never truly find them...they find you!  It just happens.  I'm waiting for that to happen here, but it's taking a lot longer than I ever anticipated.

As for my old friends...they're still there.  They will always be there!  But...the distance has been hard, and keeping those relationships up are a lot of work.  Girls need friends they can do stuff with.  We need connections that don't include Skype, Facetime, Texts or emails.
 
I've thought long and hard about why God is having me wait for that special friend.  Perhaps so I can be more readily available for my daughter who also is longing for that kind of close friend.  Perhaps it's because God wants me to draw closer to Him...I know that's been lacking in my life.  Fortunately I've gotten involved in small group and in a Woman's Bible study at church every week.  It's been wonderful and I DO feel as if I'm a lot closer to the Lord than I've been in ages. 

Either way, the desire is still there, and I look forward to the day when either that desire goes away, or that God will bless me with a dear friend.  I know God can do anything, but we have to wait on His time, and for Him to provide.  So far He has never let me down, and I know He's not going to let me down in this area as well.  In the mean time, I'll just keep trying to find my way being a country girl living in the south.  I'll wait patiently, and I'll just trust that in His time, He will bless.

Remain Steadfast...Don't ever give in!

I am pretty straight forward when it comes to talking about my Christian faith on my Facebook wall, but when it comes to news and politics, I tend to hold back and am a lot more cautious.  I don't like to open doors up for big debates. I have my opinions, and there are many times I'd LOVE to write a comment on Facebook posts, but I generally refrain.  I'm not sure why.  Maybe my Mom's advice finally kicked in after all those years of saying 'If you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything.'  I suppose I don't want to offend others, but honestly why should I care not to offend, if what I'm talking about is moral, honest and true?   

One of the most 'offensive' (according to some folks) things I DO talk about is my faith in Jesus Christ, but I honestly don't mind offending people for the sake of the Gospel.  If they are offended, then perhaps it's because they need to get right with the Lord.  I don't get all preachy, but I do speak the truth, mostly from personal experiences.  As a Christian, how can I NOT share Christ with others?  Aren't we commanded to do so?  After all, in Mark 16:15 it says, "And he said to them, “Go into all the world and proclaim the gospel to the whole creation."  If I were not a Christian, I'd certainly want someone to share the Gospel with me, especially since it matters where I spend eternity!

That being said, I'm not on Facebook account right now, I'm on my blog, and I feel a lot more freedom in writing about my feelings and opinions here.  There's no one to immediately knock me down.  No one to argue with, and no one to get me upset or tell me off because they disagree with me.
 
Have you noticed how disturbing the news has been lately?  Everything seems to be so evil and full of sin.  These things 'should' be disturbing to everyone, but unfortunately we live in a world where people are selfish, and don't care about anyone but themselves.  People tolerate the bad, but not the good, and there's also such a sense of entitlement.  As Christians, we are to love one another unconditionally, yet we do not have to tolerate their sin!  We don't have to give in to their immorality.   

Perfect example:  The mass shooting just today in Oregon.  I can't even imagine what went through those victims' minds as the shooter asked 'what religion' they were, then shot those dead who responded that they were a Christian!  This man went out of his way to kill innocent people because they believed in something other than he did.  He chose to take their lives.  What a sick and twisted mind to do something like that!   

And what about all those innocent babies who are slaughtered on a daily basis??  Abortion is evil.  It is wrong.  All those lives just thrown away by selfish Moms, greedy doctors, and companies (like Planned Parenthood) that have absolutely no morals, and no regard for the sanctity of human life!  Shame on them!  They are taking lives too, only they think there's nothing wrong with that. 

Then there's the acceptance of gay marriage.  I still can't wrap my head around why anyone would choose to be gay in this world, because that's exactly what it is...a choice.  God created us in HIS image, He did not create people to be gay.  He intended for marriage to be between one man and one woman.  In order for us to 'be fruitful and multiply', there needs to be a union between a man and woman.  It's that simple.  Our country has decided that it's OK to marry anyone you wish, whether male or female, and that's just NOT OK with me.  I'm sickened by the tolerance of so many, even folks who at one time claimed to be 'Christian'.  It is wrong and it is sin.  Do I hate them for it?  Absolutely not!  I have friends who I strongly disagree with for their lifestyle choices, but I love them, and would never judge them...that's for God to do, but...I will not tolerate and back up their sin by promoting it.

There have been more stories in the news about gays suing Christian business owners for not providing services for them, services that go against their personal beliefs.  Photographers, bakery owners, florists, and now even Christian schools are being sued.  Why??  Wouldn't it be easier for them to just go find a photographer, a florist, baker and even a school that WILL support their sin, rather than sue those who don't?   Why would they want to hurt those who don't agree with their lifestyle.  Satan comes to seek and destroy, and apparently that's just what he's doing!  As a photographer, I now refuse to photograph weddings anymore for fear of being sued.  It's scary!  To stand up for what we believe in is getting harder and harder. 

Another example is how Muslims and their beliefs are making their way into this country...a country that never fully recovered from their attacks nearly 15 years ago.  Our own President has done nothing to stop them.  There is an indoctrination going on in the schools.  They are being voted into leadership positions, and no one is saying a word!!  WHY??  Just as Satan creeps in like a wolf in sheep's clothing, so are they.  They are building more and more mosques, and are slowly trying to take over.  Just Google it, people, it's happening...where I live, where YOU live...all over!  God have mercy on the United States of America!!  We need to get a President in the White House who will stand for God and what's right!

Folks, we need to remain steadfast, and stand firm in our belief in God!  Just as it says in I Peter, we need to glorify God, even when we suffer! We also need to be constantly on our knees in prayer for those who are suffering.  We need to pray that God will have mercy on us and on our country, that He will keep us safe, and that soon He will come back and take us home!

1 Peter 4:16 Yet if any man suffer as a Christian, 

let him not be ashamed; but let him glorify God on this behalf.

If you're suffering now, going through hard times, just remember that God is in control.  We are not of this world...this is not our home, and we can't expect to live in a perfect world when it's riddled with sin.  One day we will be whole, we will be perfect, and we will be able to stand before the Lord.  Do whatever it takes now so when you're standing before Him, he will say "Well done, my good and faithful servant!"

Standing with you.

A Touchy Subject

Sometimes I wish I could go back in time, so I could have raised my kids when life wasn't quite as difficult or as 'evil' as it seems to be today.  It wasn't the easiest back in the 60's and 70's when I was growing up, but it certainly didn't seem as bad as it is today.  Between terrorist attacks on the US, Christians constantly being murdered all over the world, gays and transgenders freely flaunting their sin and it being tolerated by so many, and the intolerance of Christianity, I'm more than ready for Christ to return!! 

I'm saddened that my children are being raised in a world where evil prevails.  I'm sad that they don't get to live their lives without being smacked in the face with liberals and their evil schemes.  It's disgusting what this world has become, and I'm angered about it, so I KNOW that it angers God!  Remember the Flood?  Had God not promised again to flood and destroy the earth, I bet we'd all have been washed away for a 2nd time already! 

All that being said, there are obvious evils in this world and there are some 'not so obvious' evils.  One of the evils that most people don't see, is the spread of Catholicism throughout the world, especially here in America where it seems to be the biggest 'religion'.  When you say that you're a Christian now a days, people assume you're Catholic.  Well, I'm sorry, but I'm not Catholic, I am a born again, Bible believing, Jesus follower! 

Just this week, the Pope visited the US and so many people went crazy over the fact that he was here, almost as if he were God.  It saddens me to see how lost these people are.  The Pope is no more God than you or I.  He is a sinner just like everyone else, just like Mary was (gasp!), and just like the rest of us are.  Don't believe me?

Well, tonight I listened to an amazing sermon online!  The speaker was Mark Cahill. He was spot on regarding the subject of 'Roman Catholicism vs. The Bible".

Here's what it says on his website about the sermon:  "Comparing the 1994 official Catechism of the Catholic Church to the Bible might amaze you with teachings you may have not known about before.  Learn how to reach out to Catholics with the true gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ."

To listen, click here, or visit Mark's website and search for it under the Teaching tab (then go to Listen, then to Sermon).

Now, I've read a lot about the Catholic church while homeschooling both my kids.  We've used the curriculum 'Beautiful Feet' to study the Medieval time period from a Christian point of view, and a lot of it stresses how the Catholic church was backed up by Kings and others in power, simply to get what they wanted. It had nothing to do with God and what was right!  It had everything to do with money and greed.  Today, the Catholic church is still the same.   If you're interested, some books we read include:

Martin Luther
Fine Print
Morning Star of the Reformation
The Hawk That Dare Not Hunt By Day
and more...lots more.

I have read and understood just what some of the Christian men sacrificed, all for the cause of Christ.  Martin Luther, William Tyndale, Johannes Gutenburg, John Wycliffe...they challenged Catholicism, they preached on the TRUTH, and they put their own lives on the line, so they could spread the Gospel for you and I.  I highly recommend you listen to Mark's sermon!  He does not preach AT you in this sermon, he simply reads some of the Catholic Catechism then compares it to what the Bible says.  The Bible is God's Word!  The Bible speaks truth and is God's love letter to us. 

Do you believe?  Are you a Christ follower, or are you one who simply goes with the crowd?  Do you tolerate sin in this world?  Maybe it's time to take a look at your heart.  Take a look at what God has done for you and compare it to what's going on around you today in society!  He loves each and every one of us, He sent His Son to die on the cross for our sins, and He is coming back again one day to bring His children home...those who believe in Him.  God is love.  Satan is evil.  God cares about YOU.  Satan is selfish and instills that same evil in the hearts of man.  Don't tolerate things that Satan loves, go against the grain and live for Christ.  It will be the best decision you ever make in your life!! 

If you are already a Christian, do you just sit back and tolerate the evil that's going on in this world?  Do you allow it to creep into your home, into your life?  What are you doing to further the Gospel for Christ?  Are you teaching it to your children?  Just like Miss Clara says in the movie War Room (which I HIGHLY recommend you seeing):

“Lord, we need a generation of believers who are not ashamed of the gospel. We need an army of believers who hate to be lukewarm and will stand on Your Word above all else. Raise ’em up, Lord. Raise them up.”

Thanks for reading.  If you are offended, then perhaps I touched a soft spot in your heart.  I don't apologize for doing so.  I shared this so I can help you understand that your future matters!  Eternity is forever.  It's your call, where do you want to spend it?

Memories...the good, the bad & the ugly

These next few days will bring back memories I'd rather forget.    

Sept. 25, 2001 marks the date my Mom passed away.
Sept. 27, 2008 marks the date my Dad passed away.  

I guess it's a good thing that every year at this time I get these thoughts all over with in just a few days.  Not a day goes by that I don't think about both of my parents, but I'd rather not remember watching them die.  Mom suffered from cancer for 7 years, Dad from Alzheimer's and Diabetes...not a good combination!

I took this photo not too long before my Mom passed away.  Little did I know it would mean so much to me now.

 
Both of my parents gave so much of themselves when it came to raising my sister and I.  We were raised in a loving Christian home with not only Christian parents, but strong Christian Grandparents (on Mom's side) as well.  My parents sacrificed and worked hard to give us the best upbringing possible, and I have memories from those years that I hope to never forget!  Family devotions, game nights, vacations, ministering to old folks in nursing homes, playing our instruments together in concerts all over the state on Sunday evenings, and lots, LOTS more.  Holidays were always my favorite because we always got together with our extended family, generally on my Mom's side.  We had so many wonderful years together and I cherish every memory made. 

My husband and I are trying to do the same for our own children.  We make sacrifices (like being a one income family so we can homeschool), and work hard to raise them in a loving Christian home...giving them the tools they need to grow in the Lord and to go out into the world and be an example for others.  I hope one day when I'm long gone, my own children will feel the same way about me, as I do about my own parents...love beyond measure!  I feel more love towards my parents as I've grown older, and as I've raised my own kids, than I ever did when they walked on this earth.  I know now, just how much they did for my sister and I...something I could never have known, had I not married and had children of my own. 

God placed me into the home I was meant to be in, and for that I am forever grateful!  He also gave me a husband who completes me, and two amazing children that we were entrusted to raise.  If there's one thing that I know has been the biggest help, it's been the power of prayer.  Praying for my husband, our marriage, our children, and our children's futures have been something I've been doing since the day I said 'I do'. 

Psalm 116:2  "Because He has inclined His ear to me, Therefore I shall call upon Him as long as I live."

 I Thes. 4:17  "pray without ceasing;"

A new beginning...

Shame on me!  It's been 4 years since I've posted on this blog, and I SO regret stopping. Between Facebook, Twitter and Instagram, I got really side-tracked and failed to keep up with my blogging.  I'm sad that I let so much time and so many memories fade away without blogging about them, but I can't let it get to me.  I will just continue where I left off, and will try to be faithful in posting.  

So much has happened though in these four years.  My son graduated high school (homeschool), got accepted to LeTourneau University where he's majoring in Aviation Maintenance, and is now a Junior!  My daughter has grown and matured, now a 9th grader and a beautiful young lady.  My husband got a job transfer, and we uprooted our family after living in CT our whole lives, and moved here to KY.  Hands down, one of the best things we've done.  We love it here, but are still trying to adjust to a new life where we didn't have family and/or friends!  It's taking time, but we're getting there!  We also lost our beloved dog, Cody, just last month.  He wasn't even 9 years old, but his body failed him and we had to make the loving choice to put him down after being so very sick for several months.  It was the hardest decision we've had to make, but we know did the right thing for him!  Our hearts are broken, but we have fond memories of him.  He will always be a part of who we are.

Saying 'goodbye' to my beloved pup.  Hands down, the best dog EVER!

Man's best friend.

So, now I sit here at my computer after all these changes, and think how life just slips by us when we're not looking.  Last I looked, my kids were little and we were just beginning our homeschooling journey. 

My advice for today?  Don't blink!! 

Time goes by quicker, the older you get.  In just 2 months, I will be 50.  Not sure if I should look at it as an accomplishment, or as something to be depressed about.   All I know, is that mentally I don't 'feel' like I'm almost 50.  Physically, well that's another story.  Ha ha!  All I know is that through all of life's ups and downs, God has never ever left us!  He has been with us all along our journey, and although at times we forget that He's there, He is faithful and will never walk away.  I have learned over time to pray more, trust Him more and spend time with people and things that truly matter in life.  I'm different now than I was 4 years ago, but in a very GOOD way.  My heart is lighter, I love more, laugh more and just feel so much closer to the Lord than ever before...because without Him, I am NOTHING!!   

Until tomorrow...

Flyboy

Zachary really should have a new nickname. It should be Flyboy. He LOVES to fly. He is passionate about it, and is determined to get his pilots license before his driver's license. It's kind of exciting really. I couldn't be prouder!! He began to take flying lessons last August, so it's been nearly 1 year already. He is now an official flying club member, has his medical pilot certificate and just the other day, got his own brand new headset.



He has been doing well in his lessons. He's been taking off and landing since his very first time up (they don't waste time!) and now he knows how to do all the pre-flight and weather checks. He is learning so much and he has a wonderful Flight Instructor, so I have every confidence he will do well.

Here he is with one of the planes he flies:


Doing the pre-flight check. This is THE MOST IMPORTANT part about flying! Taking-off and landing are minor compared to this, believe it or not. Safety first!




Once the pre-flight check is done, he can head out towards the runway and prepare to take off after a simple engine check.


Zachary has done a great job landing the plane! I love flying with him.

Camera

NIKON D90

Focal Length

18mm

Aperture

f/10

Exposure

1/100s

ISO

200

After the flight is over, they put the plane back into place and tie it down.

Camera

NIKON D90

Focal Length

28mm

Aperture

f/13

Exposure

1/160s

ISO

200

Camera

NIKON D90

Focal Length

22mm

Aperture

f/13

Exposure

1/160s

ISO

200

Camera

NIKON D90

Focal Length

50mm

Aperture

f/14

Exposure

1/200s

ISO

200

Some of the best moments are while we're up in the air. Everything looks so different from the air, it's incredible!! I will post some of my favorite photos in my next post.

Pray with me as I continue to pray for my son. Pray that God will bless him with safe flights, knowledge on how to fly, and wisdom when needed. There are days when he flies without me as a passenger in the back. Those are the days I seem to pray most. It's not that I can do anything to help him while we're up in the plane together, but watching him take off into the 'wild blue yonder' alone (with his instructor but no parent) is very difficult for me. We, as parents need to hold our children with open arms. They belong to God alone. I am literally letting my son 'fly from the nest' as he grows and matures. It's not easy, but God gives me the grace, the peace and the comfort when I need it most. It's all about faith, and trusting Christ in ALL things!!

Snippets from the past year

Like I mentioned last night, I'm not going to take the time to write about everything that happened last year, but after thinking it through I decided to mention some of the highlights month by month. This way when I look back on my blog there's not a huge gaping hole of information. I'm such a Type-A person, that it would bug me to no end if I didn't. It's like reading a book and finding a few chapters missing in the middle. They're not ultra important, but they are still a part of what makes my life...'my life', so I'd like to remember them just like I want to remember the other parts. Make sense? Probably not, but that's OK, not everyone understands me. =) Anyhow, here's a quick year(and a half)-in-review. Feel free to completely skip reading this entry if you want to. I won't be offended at all because it's really here for me.

Here goes:

• January 2010: I injured my foot and spent a while on crutches. Nothing else exciting.
• February 2010: Enjoyed time with friends and family over fun game nights, Valentine's dinner and more.
• March 2010: Zachary turned 15 years old! He also had major surgery on his knee. He did well, but it wasn't without lots of pain and lots of physical therapy after. I'm happy to say that his knee is perfectly fine today and he's not had a problem since.

• April 2010: Rob celebrated another birthday. Zachary got to put his Biology tools to good use as he dissected a few specimens, and Hannah and I got to meet some great skaters face to face after seeing the Stars on Ice performance. Here she is with one of them...Sasha Cohen.

Camera

NIKON D90

Focal Length

18mm

Aperture

f/5

Exposure

1/160s

ISO

1600

• May 2010: The definite highlight of our year...a 2 week vacation in Walt Disney World!! We saved up for years just to go on this trip. It wasn't the first time I'd been there (my parents brought us several times while growing up) but Rob and I had never been together, and the kids had never been at all. It was so exciting experiencing it through their eyes. We had a blast! Soon after coming home, Rob and I celebrated our 16th wedding anniversary too. =)

• June 2010: This month was when Zachary made the decision to take flying lessons. He is now pursuing his dream of flying planes with the hopes of eventually going to the Air Force Academy in Colorado. Lord willing he will!! We are so very excited for him! He also went to Ohio this month with the youth group (and our church's Bible quiz team - who won 1st place!) for a National Conference. He came back a changed young man, and we were so very proud of him.
• July 2010: Hannaah turned 9 this month! She celebrated by having an American Girl slumber party...her first one. The girls had a great time together. I also got to spend a "sister's weekend" with my older sister. We hadn't talked in almost 2 years, so we took the time to reconnect, heal and move forward. It was the best thing we did and I am so thankful to God for the opportunity! I'm going again next month for another great weekend away with her...can't wait. Here we are posing for a funny photo together just to laugh about how silly it was to waste those 2 years apart (I'm the one on the right with the knife!! Ha ha!)

• August 2010: My sister and her family (all 6 of them) came up to spend a few days with us. We had an awesome visit with them all, and the cousins were so excited to finally spend quality time together. I also got to go up to Camp-of-the-Woods with a friend (and my 2 kids) for a day, just to take photos and walk around. I worked there for 10 years as a teen and loved every minute of it. Such a great place! The highlight of this month...Zachary officially started his flying lessons!!

• September 2010: Homeschooling had already begun in August, but we activities resumed with the homeschool group that I lead, with a family picnic, great boating field trip around the local islands and more! We did a few family hikes up to Kent Falls, and enjoyed the cooler weather. Hannah also continued her skating and Zachary resumed his violin lessons after a short break. Life was back in full-swing after a nice relaxing summer.

• October 2010: Autumn is the best time of year! We took a few nice family day trips to some of our favorite places....Sturbridge Village, Yankee Candle, Deerfield and more. We truly enjoy being together as a family and we take advantage of it every minute we can. I'm so thankful for children and a husband who love family, field trips, and travel as much as I do!!
• November 2010: We enjoyed the first snow of the year in early November. I had yet another birthday (right on Thanksgiving Day)....goodness, they just keep popping up every year! =) I turned the big 45 in 2010....does that mean I've reached the top of the hill, or is that at 50? Either way, you're only as old as you feel and I don't feel a day over 100. Ha ha Actually I don't feel old at all...I'm enjoying life and aside from a few signs of wear and tear on my body, I still feel rather young. Thanksgiving was rather dull aside from my birthday. It was the first one we spent all alone - just the 4 of us. To be honest, it was kind of sad. All my life I had huge family Thanksgivings, but this year it was not meant to be. Sigh...
• December 2010: We had a homeschool-free month this year! No schooling at all...just for fun. We started extra early this year, so we enjoyed a guilt-free holiday that lasted for 5 weeks! We baked, decorated, baked, cleaned, baked, visited with friends and oh yeah...we baked! ha ha! Christmas was wonderful. We had the in-laws over and we celebrated with lots of fun, family and food!

• January 2011: New Year's Day was SO MUCH FUN!! We had an Open House for family and friends. It was so much fun, that we can't wait until New Year's Day 2012 to do it all over again. It was also a NYC month for us. Zachary flew he and I over NYC. All I can say is "WOW!" If you ever get the chance to go over the city in a plane (only 1,000 ft up) then do it!!! I also got to spend a day in the city with Rob as we went to see the Phantom of the Opera, my absolute favorite Broadway Musical!! We had a great day and enjoyed the city while snow fell on us.

One of the photos I took while flying over NYC:

Waiting for the Phantom to begin!

• February 2011: SNOW!!! To say we got a lot of snow this winter would be an understatement. It snowed long and hard. Know what though? I loved it! I enjoyed every minute of it, even the shoveling. Watching the snow get higher and higher was a riot. At one point we had to walk through a narrow path about 3 1/2' high just to get to our front door. We haven't had snow like that in years. Zachary also started to make progress on his HUGE Lionel train layout. Photos coming in a later post I'm sure. Here I am standing in the snow...barely!

• March 2011: Tea parties, flying, Play Doh, museums, photography, and field trips sums up the bulk of March. Zachary turned 16 this year which was very exciting!! We celebrated big and he got to open up his Time Capsule that we had stored away from when he was 1 year old. Inside were letters from my parents (both deceased), Rob's parents, Rob and I. Also included was a letter written to him from our Pastor from the day he was dedicated to the Lord. It was a very tearful afternoon, especially when he read the letters from my parents and from our pastor. Pastor Dave passed away only 1 week earlier after a long battle with cancer. These letters will always be precious to Lionel, I'm sure.

Getting a little emotional while listening to the letters being read out loud to him. He started to read them but couldn't make it through...not that it was easier for us either. =)

Camera

NIKON D90

Focal Length

105mm

Aperture

f/5.6

Exposure

1/60s

ISO

3200

• April 2011:Hannah  and I got to go meet more skaters at the Stars On Ice show once again. This year was better than last! We got there early, talked to several of them and got to watch the show from the front row, right in the center of the rink. The only better place to be would've been right on the ice with the skaters! Rob celebrated his birthday this month, Zachary had his 16th birthday party (a couple weeks after his actual birthday) with friends, and we had our big homeschool Literature Fair, where both our kids brought home 1st place trophies for their work!! What a great month!

Sweet-Pea and Kurt Browning!!

Zachary as 'Sherlock Holmes'

Camera

NIKON D90

Focal Length

24mm

Aperture

f/3.8

Exposure

1/60s

ISO

200

Hannah as 'Jane Austen'
I made this dress for her too! First time sewing like that ever!!

• May 2011: May flew by, mainly because we went away for a couple weeks down to Virginia. What a great trip! We went to Williamsburg, Newport News and Virginia Beach/Chesapeake Bay areas. We enjoyed seeing the many places full of history, before heading home via Charlottesville where we stopped in to see the Waltons Mountain Museum...such a fun place! When we got home, we had our homeschool group graduation and before we knew it, June and the heat of summer arrived!

Camera

NIKON D90

Focal Length

18mm

Aperture

f/10

Exposure

1/400s

ISO

250

Phew! That pretty much brings the blog up-to-date...sort of. I took you on the turbo tour of my life from the past year and a half. Lord willing I won't ever let time go by again like I did. Now...on to our regularly scheduled posts.... thanks for being so patient with me and sorry for such a long post.

Beginning again!

I thought about deleting this blog and starting over completely, but I just couldn't. I couldn't erase the incredible memories that were recorded here, both good and bad. So...instead of such a drastic change, or the pressure of trying to update this blog with everything that I missed writing about, I've decided to just continue writing as if I never stopped. I will also try not to think about the year of blogging that I missed. Sigh.....

That being said, my first official post will begin tomorrow.
Night friends, it's good to be back!

Happy Birthday Hannah!!!

My little baby turned 9 today! I can't believe it. Where on earth has the time gone?? The one thing about remembering when she was born, is that it also brings back sad memories of my Mom dying. Hannah was born only 2 months before my Mom succumbed to cancer. So, part of me wants to remember the excitement and happiness of our little blessing from 2001, but part of me wants to forget 2001 'cause of losing my own Mom. It was quite a year for us!

That being said, I am so very proud and blessed that I have two beautiful children.  Hannah has grown into such a beautiful young lady over the past year. I am very excited to see what the future holds for her. Here she is through the years:

2001 - A few hours old...all 10 lbs 2 oz of her!!


2002 - 1 year old


2003 - 2 years old


2004 - 3 years old


2005 - 4 years old


2006 - 5 years old


2007 - 6 years old - Kindergarten homeschool graduation


2008 - 7 years old


2009 - 8 years old


2010 - 9 years old!! My little girl has blossomed into a beautiful young lady!!


"Happy birthday my dear sweet girl! I love you beyond words. May God continue to guide you and bless you as you grow. Always keep Him in the center of all you do. Love Mommy"