God's Waiting Room

I don't know what it is lately, but I've just been feeling down.  I posted this picture today on Facebook with the words 

"I never used to be this way, but as I get older, it's more and more like who I've become. I'm missing my best friends...they accept me as I am and already know me well. Acquaintances get old really fast, and I've noticed that most people don't 'allow' new friends into their already established inner circle. Not something an introvert finds comforting." 

I tagged my 4 best friends, then watched as a few folks posted responses.  Most of them were very sweet, but there was one that made me both sad and happy.  She said  "What you said is me exactly.  I'm going through the same thing and we have been here over two years."

The reason it made me happy, was that I realized I'm not the only one who feels this way.  I'm not the only introvert who has been having a hard time finding friends who are true and genuine.  It also made me sad, because I totally know what she is going through.  It's been 1 1/2 years for me, and I don't foresee any changes in the near future.  I have tried so hard to get out of my comfort zone.  I've attended church, Small group (Sunday School), the orchestra, women's Bible study and more.  I've gone to all the women's functions with my small group, and I've met some amazing women...I even allowed myself to feel vulnerable by crying while praying with them, but I still have not felt that I clicked on a genuine and deep level with anyone. 

I sit here and think 'Is it me?'  'Is there something wrong with me?'  I've got 4 amazing friends who I've known for a long time, so it can't be that, or I probably wouldn't have any friends!  I did notice something...people these days don't like to let new people into their inner circle of friends.  I can understand that to a point, but if I saw someone new who needed a friend, I'd welcome her with open arms.  I've put myself out there.  I've done my part.

Sometimes the silence of my phone is deafening.  Sometimes a comment online would be welcomed.  I take time to pay attention to others, I just wish someone would pay attention to me.  I honestly don't understand why the Lord has me waiting, but that's what I'm doing.  I picture myself sitting on a semi-cushioned chair while hanging out in God's waiting room.  The walls are covered with paper that's peeling in the corner, one of the lights is flickering in the ceiling above me, and there's a fish tank in the corner to amuse those who don't like to wait.  There are magazines on the tables to peek anyone's interest, even one all about photography, but I don't pick it up because I keep watching the door to see if anyone is going to come in looking for me.  Pathetic, eh?  There's a reason I'm waiting, I'm sure of it.  There's a purpose to everything.  How do I know this?  It says so in the Bible. 

Ecclesiastes 3 says "To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven."

One day maybe I'll know why God had me waiting, and one day perhaps He will fulfill the desires of my heart.  In the mean time, I'll just sit back on the chair in His waiting room, and will continue to watch the door...always with a bit of hope in my heart. 

A 'HOT' Topic

I absolutely LOVE campfires!  I know it's got to be from all my years up at camp.  I went to girl's camp at Tapawingo, an island in the middle of Lake Pleasant...belonging to Camp-of-the-Woods, from when I was 7 years old, until I was 14.  We had campfires nearly every night there, and we would sing around them, cook over them, and just enjoy the warmth and cozy feeling that campfires bring.  I learned a lot about Jesus while sitting around those fires!

When I was older, I worked on the mainland at Camp-of-the-Woods from 1980-1989. We would have lots of campfires with the staff and with various guests I knew who were visiting.  Cooking s'mores was the best thing then, besides snuggling with whoever it was I was in love with 'dating' at the time.  Seriously though, the fires always brought that same feeling as they did at Tapawingo.  A warm, fuzzy closeness to those I was with, and to our heavenly Father.  We sang many beautiful songs around the fires, and to this day, I remember them well.

Tonight our family decided to have a campfire in the beautiful firepit Zachary built for us over the summer when he was home from college.  We cooked hot dogs on the grill, then when we finished, we sat around the fire and just enjoyed the peace and quiet around us.  Rob took the opportunity to burn a few items we had laying around that we wanted to get rid of, so it made for some pretty impressive flames, but it still was mysteriously peaceful and relaxing!

To me fire represents peace, comfort, warmth and it reminds me of songs sung about Jesus.  "Pass It On" was a big one!  It starts with 'It only takes a spark to get a fire going, but soon all those around will warm up to it's glowing.  That's how it is with God's love, once you've experienced it. You spread the love to everyone, you want to pass it on."  To others, fire may represent pain, heat, unforgiving flames, and evil.  Of course that's what life will be like for the unbeliever, but I don't have that fear.  I don't look at it with the same eyes as they do.  

Tonight as I got close to the fire to move the wood around, or to take some photos, it was hot.  It was so hot I couldn't stand close for very long.  I even couldn't tolerate the smoke if the wind happened to blow my way.  The good part about it...I don't have to fear living out eternity this way.  I get to live out

the rest of my life with Jesus Christ, in heaven.  Heaven is a beautiful place with no pain, no sorrow, and no sin.  It's the one place you want to be when you die!  Friend, don't let your ignorance, your sin, and your heart get so hardened that you turn your back on the free gift of eternal life.  Jesus died for you and for me.   Take that free gift and accept it.  Believe Jesus died for you, rose again and is one day coming to take us home again!

Finding My Way

So much has changed in our family over the past few years.  Zachary went off to college in 2013, we moved far from home in 2014, and my husband just recently got the job he was promised over 15 months ago when we moved here.  It was a long painful wait getting that full-time position, but God provided in His own time. 

Because of all these changes, I've had to practically start over from the life I once knew.  I no longer live near family, no longer live near my dearest friends, and I have had to adjust to living in 'the south' after being a Yankee for nearly 50 years of my life.  The sweet-tea has helped adjust more than you could ever know, though.  ha ha!

I think the hardest part for me has been the lack of a really good close friend nearby.  You know the kind I mean...the kind that 'gets you'.  The one who could pop in at any time and you wouldn't care if they saw your house clean or a mess.  I miss having someone to drop everything for and go out for coffee.  I miss having someone to commiserate with when I'm having a bad day, and I miss being able to pick up the phone knowing that they are just a stone's throw away.  Those kind of friends are the hardest to find.  Actually you never truly find them...they find you!  It just happens.  I'm waiting for that to happen here, but it's taking a lot longer than I ever anticipated.

As for my old friends...they're still there.  They will always be there!  But...the distance has been hard, and keeping those relationships up are a lot of work.  Girls need friends they can do stuff with.  We need connections that don't include Skype, Facetime, Texts or emails.
 
I've thought long and hard about why God is having me wait for that special friend.  Perhaps so I can be more readily available for my daughter who also is longing for that kind of close friend.  Perhaps it's because God wants me to draw closer to Him...I know that's been lacking in my life.  Fortunately I've gotten involved in small group and in a Woman's Bible study at church every week.  It's been wonderful and I DO feel as if I'm a lot closer to the Lord than I've been in ages. 

Either way, the desire is still there, and I look forward to the day when either that desire goes away, or that God will bless me with a dear friend.  I know God can do anything, but we have to wait on His time, and for Him to provide.  So far He has never let me down, and I know He's not going to let me down in this area as well.  In the mean time, I'll just keep trying to find my way being a country girl living in the south.  I'll wait patiently, and I'll just trust that in His time, He will bless.

Remain Steadfast...Don't ever give in!

I am pretty straight forward when it comes to talking about my Christian faith on my Facebook wall, but when it comes to news and politics, I tend to hold back and am a lot more cautious.  I don't like to open doors up for big debates. I have my opinions, and there are many times I'd LOVE to write a comment on Facebook posts, but I generally refrain.  I'm not sure why.  Maybe my Mom's advice finally kicked in after all those years of saying 'If you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything.'  I suppose I don't want to offend others, but honestly why should I care not to offend, if what I'm talking about is moral, honest and true?   

One of the most 'offensive' (according to some folks) things I DO talk about is my faith in Jesus Christ, but I honestly don't mind offending people for the sake of the Gospel.  If they are offended, then perhaps it's because they need to get right with the Lord.  I don't get all preachy, but I do speak the truth, mostly from personal experiences.  As a Christian, how can I NOT share Christ with others?  Aren't we commanded to do so?  After all, in Mark 16:15 it says, "And he said to them, “Go into all the world and proclaim the gospel to the whole creation."  If I were not a Christian, I'd certainly want someone to share the Gospel with me, especially since it matters where I spend eternity!

That being said, I'm not on Facebook account right now, I'm on my blog, and I feel a lot more freedom in writing about my feelings and opinions here.  There's no one to immediately knock me down.  No one to argue with, and no one to get me upset or tell me off because they disagree with me.
 
Have you noticed how disturbing the news has been lately?  Everything seems to be so evil and full of sin.  These things 'should' be disturbing to everyone, but unfortunately we live in a world where people are selfish, and don't care about anyone but themselves.  People tolerate the bad, but not the good, and there's also such a sense of entitlement.  As Christians, we are to love one another unconditionally, yet we do not have to tolerate their sin!  We don't have to give in to their immorality.   

Perfect example:  The mass shooting just today in Oregon.  I can't even imagine what went through those victims' minds as the shooter asked 'what religion' they were, then shot those dead who responded that they were a Christian!  This man went out of his way to kill innocent people because they believed in something other than he did.  He chose to take their lives.  What a sick and twisted mind to do something like that!   

And what about all those innocent babies who are slaughtered on a daily basis??  Abortion is evil.  It is wrong.  All those lives just thrown away by selfish Moms, greedy doctors, and companies (like Planned Parenthood) that have absolutely no morals, and no regard for the sanctity of human life!  Shame on them!  They are taking lives too, only they think there's nothing wrong with that. 

Then there's the acceptance of gay marriage.  I still can't wrap my head around why anyone would choose to be gay in this world, because that's exactly what it is...a choice.  God created us in HIS image, He did not create people to be gay.  He intended for marriage to be between one man and one woman.  In order for us to 'be fruitful and multiply', there needs to be a union between a man and woman.  It's that simple.  Our country has decided that it's OK to marry anyone you wish, whether male or female, and that's just NOT OK with me.  I'm sickened by the tolerance of so many, even folks who at one time claimed to be 'Christian'.  It is wrong and it is sin.  Do I hate them for it?  Absolutely not!  I have friends who I strongly disagree with for their lifestyle choices, but I love them, and would never judge them...that's for God to do, but...I will not tolerate and back up their sin by promoting it.

There have been more stories in the news about gays suing Christian business owners for not providing services for them, services that go against their personal beliefs.  Photographers, bakery owners, florists, and now even Christian schools are being sued.  Why??  Wouldn't it be easier for them to just go find a photographer, a florist, baker and even a school that WILL support their sin, rather than sue those who don't?   Why would they want to hurt those who don't agree with their lifestyle.  Satan comes to seek and destroy, and apparently that's just what he's doing!  As a photographer, I now refuse to photograph weddings anymore for fear of being sued.  It's scary!  To stand up for what we believe in is getting harder and harder. 

Another example is how Muslims and their beliefs are making their way into this country...a country that never fully recovered from their attacks nearly 15 years ago.  Our own President has done nothing to stop them.  There is an indoctrination going on in the schools.  They are being voted into leadership positions, and no one is saying a word!!  WHY??  Just as Satan creeps in like a wolf in sheep's clothing, so are they.  They are building more and more mosques, and are slowly trying to take over.  Just Google it, people, it's happening...where I live, where YOU live...all over!  God have mercy on the United States of America!!  We need to get a President in the White House who will stand for God and what's right!

Folks, we need to remain steadfast, and stand firm in our belief in God!  Just as it says in I Peter, we need to glorify God, even when we suffer! We also need to be constantly on our knees in prayer for those who are suffering.  We need to pray that God will have mercy on us and on our country, that He will keep us safe, and that soon He will come back and take us home!

1 Peter 4:16 Yet if any man suffer as a Christian, 

let him not be ashamed; but let him glorify God on this behalf.

If you're suffering now, going through hard times, just remember that God is in control.  We are not of this world...this is not our home, and we can't expect to live in a perfect world when it's riddled with sin.  One day we will be whole, we will be perfect, and we will be able to stand before the Lord.  Do whatever it takes now so when you're standing before Him, he will say "Well done, my good and faithful servant!"

Standing with you.