God's Waiting Room

I don't know what it is lately, but I've just been feeling down.  I posted this picture today on Facebook with the words 

"I never used to be this way, but as I get older, it's more and more like who I've become. I'm missing my best friends...they accept me as I am and already know me well. Acquaintances get old really fast, and I've noticed that most people don't 'allow' new friends into their already established inner circle. Not something an introvert finds comforting." 

I tagged my 4 best friends, then watched as a few folks posted responses.  Most of them were very sweet, but there was one that made me both sad and happy.  She said  "What you said is me exactly.  I'm going through the same thing and we have been here over two years."

The reason it made me happy, was that I realized I'm not the only one who feels this way.  I'm not the only introvert who has been having a hard time finding friends who are true and genuine.  It also made me sad, because I totally know what she is going through.  It's been 1 1/2 years for me, and I don't foresee any changes in the near future.  I have tried so hard to get out of my comfort zone.  I've attended church, Small group (Sunday School), the orchestra, women's Bible study and more.  I've gone to all the women's functions with my small group, and I've met some amazing women...I even allowed myself to feel vulnerable by crying while praying with them, but I still have not felt that I clicked on a genuine and deep level with anyone. 

I sit here and think 'Is it me?'  'Is there something wrong with me?'  I've got 4 amazing friends who I've known for a long time, so it can't be that, or I probably wouldn't have any friends!  I did notice something...people these days don't like to let new people into their inner circle of friends.  I can understand that to a point, but if I saw someone new who needed a friend, I'd welcome her with open arms.  I've put myself out there.  I've done my part.

Sometimes the silence of my phone is deafening.  Sometimes a comment online would be welcomed.  I take time to pay attention to others, I just wish someone would pay attention to me.  I honestly don't understand why the Lord has me waiting, but that's what I'm doing.  I picture myself sitting on a semi-cushioned chair while hanging out in God's waiting room.  The walls are covered with paper that's peeling in the corner, one of the lights is flickering in the ceiling above me, and there's a fish tank in the corner to amuse those who don't like to wait.  There are magazines on the tables to peek anyone's interest, even one all about photography, but I don't pick it up because I keep watching the door to see if anyone is going to come in looking for me.  Pathetic, eh?  There's a reason I'm waiting, I'm sure of it.  There's a purpose to everything.  How do I know this?  It says so in the Bible. 

Ecclesiastes 3 says "To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven."

One day maybe I'll know why God had me waiting, and one day perhaps He will fulfill the desires of my heart.  In the mean time, I'll just sit back on the chair in His waiting room, and will continue to watch the door...always with a bit of hope in my heart.