BRRrrrrring!!!!! Someone else answer that, PLEASE!?!

The calls keep pouring in about my Dad. They aren't friendly calls asking how things are going, they're calls from the nursing home telling me that he is sick, needs to go to a doctor's appointment, that he fell, or most recently, that he is wandering around the home so much they are thinking of transferring him to another nursing home. Yeah, you read that right...they want to transfer him!

WHAT!?!?! THEY CAN'T DO THAT!!!

First of all, I'm so sick and tired of the phone calls. Part of me wishes I didn't even have a phone right now! We do have caller ID but that doesn't help in this case since I have to answer all calls about my Dad. I have put off friends and family members who have called because I'm just so sick of being on the phone. (Sorry if you're one of them!!) My kids are sick of me being on the phone too and I don't blame them!!!

Yesterday the phone call came after we had such a wonderful morning together. It was Edward's day off from work, and we went to an art museum for a little bit then we went out to eat some breakfast. We got home and were going to finish Sweet-Pea's bedroom when the phone call came. So much for our family day!!!!!!! Edward could immediately sense my frustration and anger as I was speaking to the social worker on the phone. He told me that since my Dad is wandering in the halls so much, he's bothering some of the part time patients. (This nursing home has a hallway dedicated to those who are there for physical therapy only...those who are there only a month or so.) They aren't doing it yet, but they are thinking of transferring him to another home - one that is 40 min. away!!! I know they need our permission to do so, and frankly I'm not even thinking about it, the answer is a flat out NO!

My Dad was moved by the nursing home from the first floor to the second about 3 months ago. They feared that he would walk out the front door if he got close enough to it. Fair enough, I understood, even though he wears one of those alarm bracelets. They moved him to the room at the end of the hallway on the 2nd floor. The part-time PT wing is off of that wing. The nursing station is directly between both wings. There are ALWAYS nurses and nurses aides in the halls. Almost every time we visit my Dad, most of the nurses aides are just sitting around doing not much of anything. I'm not sure how or why they get away with it, but they do. So...my question to the social worker on the phone was..."Why aren't the nurses and aides telling Dad to turn around and go the other way?" They will watch him enter someones room and say nothing! They even said he walks in on the board meetings sometimes and I asked the director of the home why they don't just either shut the door, or tell him he can't be there. It's not that difficult people, my Dad will listen!!

My Dad is not an angry Alzheimer's patient like most often tend to become. He is gentle, loving and frankly he's just looking for someone to talk with most of the time. Even he doesn't talk that much...he's very quiet these days. Sometimes when he wanders, he's just doing it for something to do. I also told them that if their recreation department had more programs for him, they wouldn't have to worry. They should tire him out during the morning hours so in the afternoons he's tired and wants to be in his room and rest. Edward even questioned them and asked if they were talking about the same person. Every time we go, he's sitting somewhere relaxing, is fast asleep in his room, or is watching his TV. He's NEVER wandering when we show up, and we visit him at different times during the day. Go figure! The funny thing is that he is the ONLY person on that floor who is ambulatory (can walk), but even at that, he's not very stable, so he's extremely slow. It's not like he's running all over the place like an uncontrollable child.

We met with the director yesterday and are waiting for her to call me today....yes, another phone call!!!! I need a secretary. By rights, they can't just transfer my Dad. By rights, we can appeal it even if they say they want to. So...for now we just wait. The director said there was a meeting this morning with the nurses, social worker, recreation department etc. and that they would try to work with Dad and figure out a way to keep him there. I was so upset in her office, the tears were flowing. She could see that I was at the end of my rope. I'm the ONLY family who visits Dad, talks to him or is there for him. No one else lives nearby or cares. It's so sad and the burden on us is very heavy.

Please help us by praying for an end to all the stress, burdens and exhaustion. One family can only take so much. We will be starting school in just over 3 weeks, so things need to calm down by then. I do not want the kids education to suffer another minute. We missed enough school this past year. Although Lionel did test well, it still isn't fair to him (or Sweet-Pea) to make them miss school days because of issues with my Dad.

I'll update once I hear from the home. Thanks!