Eight years ago yesterday my Mom died. Cancer destroyed her body, but Christ called her home on September 25,
2001 to deliver her from that pain.One year ago tomorrow my Dad died. Alzheimer's disease destroyed his body, but Christ called him home on September 27, 2008 to deliver him from his loneliness and pain.
The 7 years that separated their deaths were difficult as we watched Dad get worse and worse. It is a relief knowing that they are once again reunited in Christ, but it's so hard to be the one left behind!! It's so hard knowing that I will never get to speak with them again on this earth. I will never get to pick up the phone and share my every day stuff with them...the things that most people take for granted!
I think I cried yesterday harder than the days that they died. I cried so much it hurt. I just felt such a loss, such loneliness and such abandonment. Besides my husband and children, I have no one. I have family, but I don't see or get to speak with them often. I have friends, but most of them don't understand what it's like to feel such a loss. I know I'm not alone...many people have lost loved ones...but for me this is obviously personal. It hurts!
Music soothes the soul, and I have been listening to a lot lately...maybe not the wisest thing since it does bring tears to my eyes, but I also find it comforting. Here's one of my favorites sung by Kim Hill..."You Alone"
In You alone is where I find my comfort. In You alone, You're my only hope
In You alone my heart has found a resting place. In You alone...In You alone
Amen!
6 comments:
It always strikes me that in the story of Lazarus - where Christ knows he is not lost AND knows he is about to raise him from the dead - he still weeps for the death of his friend. Death is a great evil, even though God can use it for good, and it is right to cry for those who have fallen asleep. We can take comfort in knowing they are NOT lost, but that does not take away the heartbreak. We still mourn.
I am sorry for your loss. I'm praying for you.
Mallen
I am so so sorry for your pain. I will be praying for you...the Lord knows and understands your aching, even if no one else here on earth does. I pray He continues to sustain you and remind you of our hope in Christ. Thank you for sharing your life as you do through your blog.
I am praying for you my sweet friend.
I don't have words to say but wanted to lend some strength and support... Loss and Sorrow ARE lonely spots that truly cannot be shared. - Brenda
Just stumbled across your blog looking for homeschool blogs, but it was obviously not by chance. Have been very weepy the last few days because this month marks 6 years ago that my mom went to be with Jesus. So wierd how powerfully her death still affects me. Thanks for sharing - made me feel like I'm not alone in my sadness.
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