Being Selfish

I think it's about time I get a little selfish. For the past 7 years, I've sacrificed and have given of myself to those around me. Is it OK to feel this way? I think so...

• Over 7 years ago I was there for my Mom as she suffered and died from cancer.

• 6 years ago I stepped up to the plate and made myself available 24/7 to help my Dad whenever he needed me...which was quite often! It was a promise I made to my Mom.

• 4 years ago my family and I made a deeper commitment to take care of my Dad when he was diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease - we put an addition on our home and moved him in.

• 2 years ago life got extremely difficult as Dad got worse and we had to put him into a nursing home...but I was with him constantly which meant frequent visits to the nursing home.

• Last year I buried my Dad and it seemed as if life would return to 'normal'...until we realized that we could no longer afford our home with the in-law addition...so we put it up for sale.

This year I realized that I have done nothing in the past 4 years to take care of myself. I stopped going to my regular doctor visits for one...taking Dad to hundreds of visits a month was quite enough for me. I quickly learned to detest any type of medical facility, whether it be for me, my Dad or others in my family. That was not a good thing. I over extended myself constantly and it all has finally caught up with me. I've been tired, cranky, feeling sluggish, and overall in need of an overhaul! So....

Now I'm going to be selfish and finally take care of ME!

I have 2 doctor appointments this week already. I'm going to have my long awaited mammogram -something I was so faithful in doing before Dad's Alzheimer's kicked in. My Mom died from breast cancer, so this was always a priority of mine. I'm also going to the ob-gyn for my routine check up. My yearly exam has now become my every-5-years exam. Not anymore! I plan on being faithful yet again.

What amazes me is how healthy I always was when I needed to be. God kept me totally healthy throughout the 3 years we had Dad living here with us, and up until his death. Before all that, I used to always get sinus infections, colds, the flu - whatever winter would throw my way. I haven't been sick with any of those for almost 4 years now. God is good - He is faithful, and despite my stupidity in neglecting my own self all these years, He's kept me fairly healthy. I'm grateful for that! Pray that the exams I have this week will all come back without any problems. I'm trusting God that all is well and that I will be able to give 100% to my husband, my children and even myself from now on.

It's been a long haul these past 7 years, but I'm totally ready to start fresh. Hopefully our house will sell soon, we'll find a new home, and we'll all be healthy. God doesn't promise our lives to be always happy, healthy and full of good things. I feel that we have traveled down a long stressful road yet we have learned quite a bit, have grown a lot, and are excited about what the future holds.

If you're currently taking care of someone, don't forget to be a bit selfish now and then. I learned that you NEED to take care of yourself to be able to give 100% to others.