I'm still numb, but I'm feeling better!

I thought I was doing pretty good after my Dad's death until I wrote his eulogy late last night for the memorial service this Saturday. I sat here at my desk and thought about Dad and how much of an impact he truly had on my life. You never really know how much someone means to you until you lose them! That's really sad. We so often take for granted when our loved ones are with us, not realizing that God could call them home without a moment's notice! We knew Dad was dying, and yet it's still so painful.

I really haven't known how to feel about his death. In a way our lives are now easier since we don't have to go to the nursing home several times a week. We don't have to worry about him and how he is doing when we're not around him. We don't have to deal with phone calls in the middle of the night...in a way we're 'free'. All that came with a price though - losing Dad. That's the hard part. We have relief, yet the other end of it includes deep sorrow. Is there guilt in feeling the relief and 'freedom'? Absolutely! I think that's why I haven't been able to grieve normally. The healing process has begun though, and I'm hoping that after the memorial service, I can truly live again. Writing that eulogy last night really put my feelings into perspective. There really is something to be said about putting pen to paper!! (Or fingers to the keyboard - for us computer fanatics!)

The memorial service should be awesome. The video I made for last Friday's calling hours will be shown, one of our church members will be singing "Wish You Were Here" by Mark Harris, and an incredible trumpet player who also attends our church, will be playing my Dad's trumpet at the end of the service. There will be other things as well, but those are the highlights!

What else have we been up to??

We have kept up our daily schedule this week but still haven't done much school. Sweet-Pea has been skating and Lionel still has had his violin lessons, but that's pretty much it. We did go on one pretty awesome field trip to an Alpaca farm...I'll post more photos and tell you about it another time. Cody has been a good boy for us. He has kept us smiling and laughing at all the silly antics he's been up to. He has a new favorite toy...a bouncy orange ball. He goes NUTS over the thing. If it gets stuck under something, he'll stand there forever until someone helps him get it out. Gotta love him!

Maybe next week I can get back to blogging about the rest of my life and what's been going on in more detail. I just haven't blogged about other things because everything else seems so trivial at the moment. I'm sure I'll get back into it soon though...I miss it!